https://peertube.lagbag.com/videos/watch/f839b482-8dfd-4e0c-b027-7a0ec88aefc2 Think you got what it takes to be Valedictorian? Maxwell Dorian takes us through a day in his life. Here are the lyrics (in case you feel like geeking out): MAXWELL DORIAN, VALEDICTORIAN I SPEAK IN THREE WEEKS TO THE ENTIRE AUDITORIUM HEAVY CORDS BUT I BEAR 'EM, MEDALS CHAFE BUT I WEAR 'EM SIX STEPS TO ACADEMIC SUCCESS, NOW LET ME SHARE 'EM: FIRST PERIOD, CALCULUS, EASY AS PI BUT SUCKAS REAL AS i, THEY TRY TO SPY MY ASSIGNMENT THEY'D LIKE TO DERIVE WHAT'S INSIDE OF MY HEAD THAT'S WHERE I MAKE MATH MY MISTRESS, DENOMINATE HER IN BED KANT KEEP UP WITH ME ONCE PHILOSOPHY STARTS SO SMART I PICK SARTRE APART, DISCREDIT DESCARTES I THINK THEREFORE I AM AT THE TOP OF MY CLASS WHY AM I HERE? LET ME THINK, TO KICK ASS A THOROUGH UNDERSTANDING OF THOREAU, THIRD PERIOD A MYRIAD OF WEARY EYES READ THE (IRA) ILIAD BUT NOT ME I'M A.P. THAT TEXT IS TOO TAME THEY'RE STRIKING OUT WITH HOMER, I'M RE-JOYCE-IN' IN JAMES P.E.'S NOT EXACTLY FOR ME, BUT I DON'T CARE I'LL GET MY "A" ANYWAY-- IN BAND I'M FIRST CHAIR PIANISSIMO, FORTISSIMO, I GOTTA BE HEARD YEAH I NEVER MISS A CODA-- NEVER MISS A CODA-- WORD! SIXTH PERIOD, HISTORY, TOP OF MY GAME I'M LIKE NAPOLEON BUT TALL, WITHOUT A RUSSIAN CAMPAIGN I DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE FINAL I'M A DOWNRIGHT HISTORIAN ....MAXWELL DORIAN, SALUTATORIAN Special thanks to Tyler Jacobson for rocking out the sweet graphics and to Andrew Weed for some kick-A fx work. www.baratsandbereta.com Wed, 15 Apr 2026 21:02:33 GMT https://validator.w3.org/feed/docs/rss2.html PeerTube - https://peertube.lagbag.com https://peertube.lagbag.com/client/assets/images/icons/icon-512x512.png https://peertube.lagbag.com/videos/watch/f839b482-8dfd-4e0c-b027-7a0ec88aefc2 All rights reserved, unless otherwise specified in the terms specified at https://peertube.lagbag.com/about and potential licenses granted by each content's rightholder.